I had such high hopes for 2018, we’re 4 months in and all I can is “what the fuck is going on?!?” First, we got that heinous Snapchat update, then Gigi and Zayn broke up, then Selena and Justin broke up, then Channing and Jenna Tatum broke up (Channing, if you’re looking to downgrade immensely, hit me up).
Apparently, 2018 is the year that we can’t have nice things, because IT JUST GOT A WHOLE LOT FUCKING WORSE. Literally, the only good thing this year is that Khloe Kardashian is about to pop out the newest Kardashian moneymaker any minute with her one and only Tristan Thompson, and now we can’t even be excited about that.
Because there’s no better time than right before the birth of your child for skeletons aka side-chicks to come out of the closet, shit is hitting the fan. Back in October of 2017, Tristan was caught on surveillance cam at a hookah club to someone who isn’t Khlo$, because she was 3 months pregnant with their love-child. It wasn’t just one girl he was playing tonsil hockey with, but with two. The video from that night shows Tristan making out with one of them, tongue and all. Legit, at one point, they’re just licking their tongues together. It’s fucking weird. The other chick got jealous, so to even the playing field, she grabbed TT’s head and brought it to her chest, and he decided to motorboat her. Because apparently motorboating isn’t weird enough, this girl just grabbed his junk also, cause everything else that’s going on isn’t gross enough? I need to stop explaining this, because I am borderline about to vomit.
Obviously, because everything else is a shit-show, this story just keeps getting worse. Tristan had Sidechick #3 come back to his hotel room TWO NIGHTS AGO in NYC…. while Khloe was home in Cleveland basically about to pop this baby out. Tristan wasn’t even secretive about it, like he was straight-out with this girl, strolling in through the front door, as if no paparazzi would be following him, like how dumb can one man be? Now there are reports of TT’s side chick leaking their sex tape. Still no word from Khloe or any of the Kardashians but it’s safe to say, the fairy tale is over.
Honestly, I really wish that the only news I was writing about Khloe and Tristan would be the weird-ass name that they give to their baby, but clearly that’s not the case. Poor Khloe, we were all rooting for you!!!!! We were all rooting for this relationship!!!!!! I was so emotionally invested in this that now I’m super angry because I feel like Tristan cheated on me by association, so basically, fuck men. Khloe whipped her body into shape, and has bags on bags of money, and if a girl like that can’t keep her man, then there’s sure as hell no hope for the rest of us.
Fingers crossed that this is all some awful dream and we all wake up soon, but we all know that’s not going to happen because it’s 2018 and 2018 sucks shit.
By: Hunter Sol