Ahhhhh Valentine’s Day. One of our favourite holidays. You literally just get free shit for being pretty, it’s pretty fucking amazing. But, whether you’re #wifedup or #foreveralone (I can’t believe I just used either of those hashtags, ew), there’s no ignoring it.

We here at MyTherapistSays want to make sure you don’t end up having to talk to your therapist about fucking up Valentine’s Day (hell hath no fury like a lover who got a shitty fucking Valentine’s gift), which is why we decided to help you figure out what to get your girlfriend/bae/friend with benefits/booty call/Tinder boyfriend. You can thank us later.

For the Man in your life:

Although your special man is already getting the joy of being in your presence, the mental stimulation of your conversation and unmatched wit, not to mention the physical stimulation of your body, he may actually want a real present.

  1. Gift card to Bloomingdales/Barneys/Nordstrom, you get the picture. A classic of all,Valentine’s Day presents, this gift is a win-win. By getting him a gift card to a high-end department store, he probably won’t know what to buy and will ask you to come along to help pick something out. You get to control what he wears so that he doesn’t dress like Andy Samberg circa 2011, and you can do some shopping for yourself at the same time. Win-win.
  1. North Face e-Tip Gloves. These e-Tip gloves are made with a four way stretch knit that features touch screen comparable thumb and index fingers so his hands can stay warm…meaning he has no reason to not text you back. RIGHT. AWAY.

  1. Amazon Echo Dot. Even though it looks like a coaster for your Pinot Grigio, it’s not. His simple lazy-day tasks just got thaaaat much easier thanks to Amazon Echo Dot. The Echo Dot connects you to Amazon’s Alexa. With the sound of his voice, Alexa can change your playlist, order something off Amazon, or keep him up to date with the sports scores. Just hope your man doesn’t fall in love with Alexa, we don’t need a remake of that creepy Joaquin Phoenix movie Her.

  1. A Fitbit. This gift is perfect for the man on the go. The Fitbit keeps track of activities, sleep patterns, food logging, and more. The only disclaimer is that it sticks out like a sore thumb and looks like your guy is wearing an ankle monitor on his wrist and lights up during any physical activity (aka sex).

For the Lady in your life:

Seriously reading a Valentine’s Day Gift Guide this close to Valentine’s Day??? If you’re planning on getting a gift less than 72 hours before Valentine’s Day, we got you covered by giving you the best ones to make that special lady happy and think you got it for her weeks ago.

  1. Diptyque Candles: For a $60+, you would think that this candle would make a shirtless Harry Styles appear in her living room. It won’t, but it will make her feel super special that she now owns a candle that costs the same as a night out at the clubs

  1. Chanel No. 5: A true classic. I’ve never met a girl who doesn’t want Chanel No. 5. There’s really not much else to say other than get this, and you’re good.
  2. Venus et Fleur flowers: A bouquet that won’t die within 2 days! Venus et Fleur flowers are sprayed with a special treatment that makes sure these flowers stay perfect all year. Not to mention that they come in a bougie box that will make your special girl feel like she’s Blake Lively.
  3. Birchbox subscription: If you’re worried you won’t get her the right thing, a continuous gift is always a good solution. A Birchbox subscription is the gift that keeps on giving. For just $10 a month, she’ll get a different supply of beauty products straight to her doorstep, saving her the trek to Sephora and making you look like Superman.