In the dating world, there are a million different guys that you will encounter at the bars, on dating apps, and just in life in general. Most likely, you’ll encounter the fuckboy.
If you’re unaware of what a fuckboy is, congratulations!!! Maybe you’ve managed to go this long without meeting one, or maybe you’ve met one and just been too naïve to actually realize that he was a fuckboy. According to Urban Dictionary, a ‘fuckboy’ is a man who wants a girlfriend without the responsibilities of actually having one. They say it’s not really a dating style, but more so a way of life. Also called ‘fuckbois’ or ‘fuccbois’, this type of guy is truly the peak of the millennial experience. There are a lot more nuances and things that make someone a fuckboy, but ain’t nobody got time for that.
Full disclosure—I am a self-proclaimed fuckgirl (unless any guy that is interested in me and/or is talking to me reads this, I’m not a fuckgirl at all). My friends even agreed with voting in an Instagram poll. I literally texted a guy saying that if he’s lucky, maybe I’ll let him take me on a date. That being said, it takes a fuckgirl to know a fuckboy, meaning I am very well-versed in the art of fuckboy-ness.
As a serial dater, I’ve encountered/dated/hooked up with/cried over a literal smorgasbord of fuckboys, so I’ve pooled together all of my intel for you. Fuckboys are not always easy to spot in the wild, given their highly adaptive nature and ability to blend in. Here are some telltale signs that the guy you’re seeing/dating/talking to is a fuckboy that you should def ditch.
His natural habitat is the club, the gym, your DM’s at 3:00 AM
This one is self-explanatory. That is all.
They talk a big game
Fuckboys will talk to you like you’re their moon and stars when you’ve only known them for a week. They will literally blow so much smoke up your ass, it’ll feel like you’re having a Marilyn Monroe moment, and makes you think that they really fucking LIKE you. The thing is, the fuckboy probably means what they’re saying in the moment, but he also doesn’t think at all into the future. So basically – yeah, this week you’re the coolest, hottest person he’s ever met, but next week, don’t be so sure.
He says things like “We should hang”, but never initiates an actual date
Whenever you’re texting your guy, he always says that you two should hangout but never sets a plan. This is his way of implying that a “hangout” is the couch of his condo with a bottle of rose, doing some late-night Netflix and Chilling. Here’s a fun experiment – if you think you’re dating a fuckboy, try not making the next plan, no matter what. I guarantee you if they’re a fuckboy, you’ll just never seem them again, unless it’s for a booty call. Speaking of which….
They fucking love a good late night text
Your guy might seem like they never want to go out with you in a normal date setting, but he will absolutely hit you up at 2am every Friday and Saturday night with a “U Up?” Text. Sometimes, when we’re blinded by love (read: attention and sex), we start to think any form of contact validates our romance. Don’t be fooled though – a 2am text is absolutely, unequivocally a booty call. Which is fine if you want that, but trying to reason that a booty call means more than sex will leave you crying into your pint of Halo Top.
His favourite musical artist is ‘The Chainsmokers’
The Chainsmokers create music for two types of people—drunk girls to sing in the back of Ubers when they go out, and fuckboys. Don’t fight me on this one, you all know it’s true.
They’ll gaslight the shit out of you
Most of the time, a fuckboy is not a fuckboy in their own head. If I had a dollar for every time I had to explain to my guy friends that they’re acting like fuckboys, I would be rich AF. One of the ways that the fuckboy excuses his shitty behaviour in order to feel okay about it is by turning their bullshit onto you. He says things like “I never said that I wasn’t seeing other people”, or “I never confirmed that we were hanging out tonight”, blah-blah-blah. Don’t let what you feel in your gut become overthrown by their bullshit. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but honey, if you feel like you’re being treated like shit, you’re probably being treated like shit.
Now, there you go! Those are some of the most obvious signs that he’s a fuckboy. Now, run the hell away from him, and don’t let him treat you like pond water, because you are fucking SPARKLING SAN PELLEGRINO, BABY GIRL!!!!!