Less than 48 hours after the (not-so) shocking allegations of Tristan Thompson cheating on a very pregnant Khloe Kardashian were made public, it is being reported that Khloe has given birth to the couple’s first baby in a hospital outside of Cleveland early Thursday morning.
Apparently, Khloe started having contractions as a result of the stress of finding out her so-called Prince Charming was cheating on her with anything that has a pulse, and was filmed in a sex tape, WHICH WAS THEN MADE PUBLIC. Hearing this news made me have contractions, and I’m not even pregnant. If there’s anything to induce the pregnancy that no one ever thought was going to end, it would def be a cheating scandal.
Even though Khloe wants to totally just stab Tristan for fucking around and embarrassing her, she gave him permission to be present in the delivery room. Apparently he wasn’t too busy fucking girls that aren’t Khloe and sucking at basketball so he was by her side as she gave birth. Also no word on what the baby’s name is, but hopefully something fucking normal for once, that poor baby has been through too much already.
As great as it is for Khloe that she no longer has to carry around what can only be assumed as a 20 pound child, what everyone really cares about is what the fuck is going to happen here moving forward. Many Kardashian super-fans think that Kris Jenner hired a P.I to follow Tristan around and chose to leak it now and orchestrate this whole scandal for a number of reasons: 1) It’s the playoffs, so fuck you Tristan; 2) She wanted to create maximum dramatic impact; and 3) she’s Kris Jenner and she does whatever she wants. After all, the timing of the release of those raunchy tapes and all the side-chicks spilling their tea is a little sketchy. The Devil works hard, but Kris Jenner works harder.
We here at MyTherapistSays think that Khloe will break up with Cheating Tristan ‘Third Trimester’ Thompson, move back to LA and raise her baby like the strong independent woman who don’t need no man that we all know she is. We also think that the baby isn’t even a baby anymore and at this point, Khloe gave birth to at least a 5 year old kid, because there’s no way a fetus stayed up there this long.
Let us know what you think is going to happen to the not-so-happy family down in the comments!
Congratulations again, Khloe, you go, Khloe!!!!….but nothing for Tristan.
By: Hunter Sol