Much like that Tinder one night stand of yours, January has come and gone (FINAAALLY). However, we’re only 7 days into February and the most exciting thing that’s happened to all of us all month has been the news that Kylie Jenner was in fact pregnant with Travis Scott’s baby (let’s be real, we all still think it’s Tyga’s, you’re not fooling anyone, Kylie).

After days of speculation, Kylie revealed her baby name to all of us via an Instagram post, and I have to say that we were all wrong.

I’ll admit it, I – along with my entire groupchat – was caught by surprise by the name that was chosen, or the fact that Kylie announced it as casually as picking up a 60 of vodka. She casually put the baby’s name in the caption of her third Instagram, which was a close—up of the baby’s hand holding her thumb.  The unfortunate moniker that this #blessed baby was given was Stormi. Stormi? STORMI?!?! Kylizzle, what were you thinking?!!?! I didn’t think anything could get worse than Chicago West, but clearly, I was wrong????

In honour of the newest moneymaker for the KarJenner empire, here are a list of names that are 100x better than Stormi. Khloe, take note.

  1. Stormy WITH A Y: If you’re going to name your kid something as shitty as Stormi, at least spell it properly. Kylie, I know you were homeschooled but that doesn’t give you an excuse to misspell a word.  Your poor daughter shouldn’t get bullied on the playground for having a misspelled name (not that she would get bullied at all though. Her parents are fucking Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott).

  2. Posie: This is the name that everyone thought was the obvious choice. Conspiracy theorists in the Twittersphere had crazy theories behind this name choice because it’s short for Mariposa which is Spanish for Butterfly and Kylie and Travis have matching butterfly tattoos and blah blah blah, that’s not the name, build a bridge and get over it.

  3. Kylie Jenner’s Baby: No matter how old she gets, Stormi Webster will always still be referred to as ‘Kylie Jenner’s Baby’. Kylie should have just named her that to make it easier for everyone.

  4. Any name that starts with a K: By naming her child something that starts with a K, Kylie would be keeping up with the Kardashian brand. And that’s just how the devil momager Kris Jenner likes it.

  5. Mistake: Not only does it sound like the name of a cool rap song, but just like that last vodka soda at the bar was a mistake, so was this baby. The name Mistake would remind her of her roots and where she came from.

  6. Victoria: This baby was kept a secret for 9 months. Enough said.

  7. Lip Kit: After Kylie’s announcement that she had given birth, the entire world caught baby fever. There would have been no better form of advertising for Kylie Cosmetics than to name her baby after her most famous products.

  8. Houston: Much like her new cousin Chicago, Stormi could have been named after Papa Trav’s hometown. It’s also just as weird as Chicago, because what the actual fuck???

  9. Category Five Hurricane: For all we know Storm could just be a nickname and the real name is Category Five Hurricane, because who doesn’t love a curveball?

  10. Not a porn star name: I don’t know about you but when I hear Stormi, I think of that porn star who slept with Donald Trump. So good job Kylie and Travis, you really set your kid up for success there!

  11. SOMETHING FUCKING NORMAL FOR ONCE: This one is self explanatory. Just surprise us for once with a normal name.

Here’s to hoping that Khloe has a MUUUCH better name for her baby. But if it’s continuing with this current trend, it’ll probably be much worse. And as for little Stormi Webster over there, she definitely has a future in meteorology (or porn)

By: Hunter Sol